wrong left turns

Depression combined with insomnia is like being locked in a room until morning, with some of your favorite and most familiar things. Only, they're all broken, and you have no means with which to fix them.

Optimism: my life is a series of wrong left turns that took me to the right place. Pessimism: every road is a dead end, and I'm out of gas, anyway. Defeatism: fuck it, I'm going to pull over and wait for a tow truck.

Have you ever cooked something that stuck to the bottom of the pot? You scrub and scrub as soon as you're done, but you can't get it clean. All you can do is wait while it soaks, until what's been burned breaks off and floats to the surface. Only then can you rinse it away and cook again.

That's what some breakups are like.

Sometimes I wish there was an afterlife, because my dad would have been chilling in the waiting room with Neil Armstrong, Ernest Borgnine, Nora Ephron, and Phyllis Diller. He wouldn't have been bored.

If you write the invitations in disappearing ink, don't be surprised when no one shows up to your party.