"She..."

I've been dreaming again - or at least, remembering the dreams I have. I don't think I ever really thought about the fact that I'd stopped. But I did, and for nearly a year. I'm glad to have them back again - dreams. But it's been a little disorienting. The first few times I woke up genuinely confused as to what was going on. It took me what felt like minutes to realize Oh, I was dreaming. And now even though I'm used to the process again, the dreams themselves are alarmingly vivid and strange. Many are intensely sexual and some, nightmarish.

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A straight guy buddy - one of my few out-of-state RL friends who actually reads my blog - messaged me recently to say "ur blog needs a man in ur life". Got that? My blog does. Not me.

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I think it's really important to be able to draw a line in the sand, and stand behind it. I just always seem to do it at low tide.

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If I were a better photographer just had some decent goddamn lighting in my apartment, I'd love to do a series called HOUSEWARS: Slightly Hostile Conversations Between Things In My Home. I'd put variously-sized googly eyes on inanimate objects and do three or four-panel comics of the aggravated discussions between them. My electric kettle, for instance, is totally disgusted with my French press's inability to keep coffee hot while I catch up on Instagram, and tends to make rather cutting comments about it to her.

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Someone needs to print up t-shirts to sell to the BDSM crowd that say "Service Animal: Do Not Pet".

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When I was a little girl, I moved through the world as if I were a character in a story. That's how I thought of myself. I projected myself into every scene, every situation and moment, in the third person. I even articulated it in my head by thinking "She..." instead of "I..." It was sort of magical, how easily it came to me - that ability to narrate my life in a detached way. I can remember sitting in the backseat of the car and just zoning out, my head against the window, daydreaming myself into my own storyline.

I've started doing that again, too.