secret menu

M: Did you know Starbucks has a secret menu?

Me: With the Trenta? I don't know what else is on it, though.

M: The kid next to me ordered a Cinnamon Toast Crunch frappucino and I was like whattttt?

Me: No way. WTF.

M: Cap'n Cruch frapp, too. Crazy.

Me: I order off the Chipotle secret menu all the time. Just a quesadilla, but it's fun when someone in line doesn't know that's an option and is all wha??

M: HAHAHA, I was gonna say WTF could they have?

Me: Right?? SECRET MENU ITEM: mix mild AND medium salsa! OMG you so fancy.

(pause)

Me: What if hospitals had secret menus? ...Or dating sites. ...Or colleges. ...Or VIP rooms.  ....Wait, what am I saying. They totally do.

M: Dating site secret menu, lol.  ...Can I have the blonde with the green eyes?

Me: The Pilates instructor with the PhD?

M: That went to Harvard and started a VC company?

Me: LOL. More like, Can I get the guy with both intelligence AND humility? 

M: No but would you settle for a Cinnamon Toast Crunch frapp?

Me: LOLOLOL