vague nostalgia

Yesterday morning while I was cleaning, I tabbed over to the Discover section of Spotify. I do this often, because even though it's overwhelming (impossible, really), I like to make an attempt to stay on top of new music, at least in the genres I like. It's always more fun if, when the festival lineups come out, I recognize some of the names of lesser-known bands. Plus, the Recommended For You suggestions tend to be pretty good. I've discovered tons of great randoms that way.

One of the bands recommended for me yesterday sounded really familiar, so I clicked on it. And a really weird thing happened. I instantly recognized the song I played, because it's a song I love and was obsessed with - along with the rest of the album its on - back in the day.

The thing is, I can't remember when that day was.

In fact, I can't remember anything at all about what was happening in my life, when I was obsessed with this album. And it's usually the opposite, you know? We tend to develop such strong associations with music we love that even if it's been years since we've listened to it, we're instantly transported back to the time and place, the people and events that were significant to us when we had it on loop. Ah yes. Sophomore year of college. Tucson. Cody Linck. Working at Breckenridge Brewery. Living at Oracle Apartments. But for some reason, all I know is that this album was incredibly meaningful to me at the time. I cannot for the life of me remember why, though. I feel like I must have been falling in love, or going through some kind of major emotional change, or something. But despite feeling absolutely bowled over by these songs again, I can't figure out why.

I also have no idea why I stopped listening to them and apparently forgot about them, for years. It's like being reunited with a boyfriend you were crazy about and being unable to remember why you ever broke up in the first place. We were so good together. What the hell happened?? 

The album is Our Ill Wills, and the band is Shout Out Louds. The track that grabbed me and yanked me so hard back into a vague nostalgia that I can't grasp the details of is South America. The other song I can remember listening to over and over and over is Impossible. I've been listening to these and the rest of the album for the past twenty-four hours, and my head is just spinning. I want so badly to know who I was and what I was going through, when I was loving it the first time around. My instincts are telling me it was something I needed to bury. My instincts are telling me to leave it alone. I mean, assuming I was listening to the album when it first came out (2007), I can reconstruct some of the details of my life at the time. I know who I was hanging out with that year, and generally how I was spending my time. But nothing is triggered, when I think of those things. Nothing to tie them to this music, anyway.

It is just the oddest thing.

Anyway, I'm glad I rediscovered the band, even if I'm a little bit spooked by the mystery.