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Area Couple Disagree About Best Place To Abandon Used Blender

PORTLAND, OR - Citing safety concerns, Chaplin Lofts resident Carey Marvin dryly suggested to longtime boyfriend Trent Colson that perhaps the formerly functional pile of junk with which the two once made smoothies should be placed on the trash room floor beside the recycling bin, rather than on top of it. "It's glass, " she sighed, her head tilted at an angle evoking long-suffering resignation. "It could fall and break. And those blades are sharp? Someone might cut themselves?"

Trent, however, felt confident in his initial decision to precariously perch the appliance atop the large, rolling blue bin with slightly convex lid. "No one will see it on the ground," he argued with the same conviction he'd once felt about his ability to fit an oversized carry-on into the overhead luggage compartment of a budget airline. "Somebody's gonna grab it right away, anyway. A good blender like this? They'll be thrilled!"

When asked whether the couple intended to include the instruction manual alongside their neighborly offering, Marvin rolled her eyes aggressively and muttered, "Oh yeah, like he kept that."