Things In My Hand, Mid-March Edition

Thing #1: Ataulfo mangoes

significance: This particular day started out sucking donkey balls roughly the size of these mangoes. I had a doctor's appointment, first time seeing her so I was already nervous, and on the way out of my building I got into it with my dickhead neighbor. Long story short: he has an endlessly barking dog he's done nothing about for over a year, and I, at my breaking point, said some harsh things. I hate losing my temper, so the encounter left me furious at myself and all shook up. But then a minute later I ran into New Neighbor Friend, who is also familiar with dickhead neighbor. She spent the next two hours texting me about the situation, commiserating and just supportively listening to me vent, and by the time I left the doctor's (and found these at a fruit stand just outside), my mood was a million times better.

When I got home I put one of the mangoes in a bag along with a pack of Hi-Chews, wrote CHOOSE YOUR OWN SNACKVENTURE on the bag, and put it outside her door as thanks. This was thanks not just for being there for me that day but also for her last present to me. (We are basically bombarding one another with little token gifts like some kind of courting medieval couple, it is hilarious.) She texted me a picture of the mango in her fruit bowl, said it smelled and looked great, but what the heck was it, exactly? LOL.

significantly better than: Regular mangoes, IMHO. These taste like honey-infused nectarines, and are one of my favorite fruits.


Thing #2: sparkling sake

significance: We introduced my friend Steve to Bulgogi Hut (formerly Castle II), and finally got our order right, even if my drink choice was a miss. It's an all-you-can-eat Korean BBQ deal, and there are over two dozen kinds of meat to choose from. And you have to consume what you order or pay a surcharge, so there's a lot of trial and error in figuring out the best stuff to get. Should you go, that best stuff is 1) hot and spicy pork, 2) signature bulgogi, and 3) black angus beef brisket bulgogi.

significantly better than: Water? No, probably not. Banzai Bunny (please please let someone make this my new rave name) maybe isn't the most delicious member of the sparkling beverage family. Banzai Bunny maybe tastes like someone opened a washing machine mid-cycle, dropped a rotten peach in it, played a few rounds of sudoku, opened the machine back up, dipped an empty bottle in the water, and sealed it. Oh and the laundry consists entirely of gym shorts.


Thing #3: my friend Steve's head

significance: Pictured above are my adorable boyfriend, my friends Mark and Steve, and New Neighbor Friend! We all hung out for a bit on Friday and as you can see it was a total fucking bore, except for the wall twerking, the hip hop dance party, and the randomly finding edible undies in someone's hotel room. First rule of Edible Undies Randomly Found In A Hotel Room Club is group selfie or GTFO.

significantly better than: No friend's head. If given the choice, I will always choose friend's head over no friend's head.


Thing #4: the front railing at the Eric Prydz show (out of frame)

significance: It looks like church, which is about right because Eric Prydz is the closest thing to my prophet as it gets. Fantastic show, just absolutely out of this world. We'd never seen the place so packed, but coping with the smashing elbows everywhere was worth it to be right up front. Though really it was mostly Terence who dealt with that aspect. He was a saint, making himself into a human shield around me so I'd have room to dance and be protected from the worst of the shoving. He went all zen and meditative just so I could have the best possible experience. Hugely massively wonderful boyfriendishness.

significantly better than: no railing, which would mean I was floating somewhere in the middle, crushed and jostled from every angle


Thing #5: supportive marathon poster

significance: My friend Mark ran the LA Marathon! He insists his placement isn't what matters to him, and just wanted to qualify for Boston (which he did), but I couldn't believe how fucking fast he was. So fast, in fact, that I actually missed him when he ran by. Terence and I had so much fun cheering that we decided to stick around for a while. Such incredible energy, and crazy inspiring. Next year we're going to take Chaucer and sit him down with a sign that says RUN LIKE I'M CHASING YOU.

significantly better than: Most of the Supportive Marathon Posters I saw online. Because not to hoot my own horn, but man is the Supportive Marathon Poster game filled with a bunch of copycats. A quick search for inspiration showed that basically everyone repeats the same ten or fifteen funny/clever ideas again and again. The owl thing was silly but I was kinda proud of the flip side I came up with: YOU RUN LIKE UPDOG. When the heat kicked in, I shed the owl suit and switched to UPDOG, and the smiles and laughs and occasional "What's 'updog'?" response from passing runners totally made my day. (Pic of the UPDOG side in the most recent set of LobbyEllies.)

sunrise, waiting for the first runners to hit downtown

Is that you, Mark? He called to us as he passed but while Terence saw him and waved, I missed the whole damn thing. By the time I got my phone out Speedy was nearly up the hill.


And that will conclude the inaugural edition of Things In My Hand, which I probably should have held off on until after tonight, when I'll have a pint of green beer to add to the list. Ah well. Happy St. Patrick's Day!