cream

Her: (from the bathroom doorway, towel-drying hair) So there's a pint of cream in the fridge that expires next month...on my birthday. 

Him: (in kitchen, playing guitar)

Her: I just find it really funny that the freakin' cream goes bad on the EXACT day I turn forty.

Him: (plays guitar)

Her: (coming into kitchen) I guess what I'm saying is, will you still love me even when the cream has turned?

Him: (look of horror) I never thought of it that way.

Her: (combing hair) Don't tease, I'm being serious.

Him: (still playing guitar) 

Her: (looking in mirror) Can we do a thing where, like, you skip a grade in school, only with your age? So instead of turning thirty-eight this year you'll turn thirty-nine?

Him: (singing) I'll get two years older overniiiight...just like on that episode of Louie where he thought he was youngerrrr...

Her: (to self) I'm just gonna go ahead and throw it out now. It's almost empty anyway.