"911, what is your emergency? Okay, okay, ma'am? Calm down ma'am. Can you describe the intruder? Uh huh...uh huh...uh huh. What is your name? Alright Ellie, I want you to get to a safe place. Can you lock yourself in the bath--what do you mean he's actually kind of cute? Ma'am I'm dispatching a unit to your home but I need to verify your description of the criminal first, okay? Height six-three, weight unsure but 'looks hot in a thermal', brown hair and eyes, bunny ears, dimple. Is that correct? Ma'am, does the intruder have a weapon? Uh huh. I see. Ma'am a basket of candy is not a weapon. Excuse me? Ma'am I'm having trouble understanding you--ma'am are you--are you eating something? Uh huh...uh huh. Well yes a white chocolate bunny from Bottega Louie does sound delicious but--uh huh...I see. Ma'am you do realize this is a taxpayer resource?, that's fine. I'll cancel the dispatch. Enjoy your basket in bed. Happy 'secular Easter' to you, too."

Let the record state that the accused, so attired, did indeed hop into the sleeping victim's bedroom, armed with the various pastries and confections pictured above. Breakfast thus procured, there was nothing for her to do but put on some ODESZA and torture the dog. 

Having patiently endured another round of blogsploitation, said dog was treated to a family walk and fetch sesh in the sun before his humans tucked him back into bed and drove to Venice Beach, because nothing says He is risen like mohawks and muscle tanks. 

Hope those of you who celebrate it had a beautiful, calorie-filled Easter.