dear Liza, dear Liza

Crop Top Feels Unfairly Burdened With Responsibility for Woman's Happiness

REDWOOD CITY, CA -- Unsure as to its ability to singlehandedly boost the wearer's ego to a state of self-perceived fuckability, a local crop top admitted today that it might need reinforcement. "I'm doing all I can here, I really am. But this chick is never satisfied." The crop top, a sophisticated shade of hot pink rarely seen since the Reagan administration, expressed concern that it may not be adequately providing the emotional fulfillment expected of it. "I fear I'm just the latest in a long list of stuff failing to furnish this lady with any sense of gratification. It's almost like she doesn't want to be happy." Doubtful about its capacity to grant the sort of genuine contentment she'd been unable to find in other things including her children, marriage, several URLs, pretty light, health and relative wealth, the crop top was also worried about job security. "She'll probably toss me out in the next toy purge. Unless she finds a way to wear me backwards."