gram mercy

The amount of flip flopping I do on social media is ridiculous. I love Instagram! I hate Instagram! Follow me! Leave me alone! Public! Private! YOU'RE ALL BLOCKED!

And here I'm specifically referring to IG but I've always been weird about all social media platforms. I don't know what it is. Some mixture of contempt, insecurity, Luddism, and misguided nostalgia. Missing the days before smart phones, when being in someone's company meant having their complete attention. When a call or the click of a camera shutter constituted a brief interruption of some activity, not the activity itself. 

I'm a dinosaur. And because I'm as addicted to my phone as anyone, I'm a hypocrite, too.

Anyway, as I explained to my friend Meg just today, I've rejoined Instagram because, frankly, it's a rough time and I'm greedily tapping all resources, whatever and wherever they be. But while I quite selfishly slunk back in hoping for a dose of lurve, the second I saw the familiar feeds of old buddies I forgot me and my dumb shit completely. It was just so nice to see everyone again. Their lives, their spaces, their creativity and commentary. Duh. And everyone who remembers me has been incredibly welcoming, which is a reminder just how great that community can be. Duh

Back when I quit, I spazzed pretty good. I manually blocked god knows how many people. Hundreds. I don't know what it was. I think I just came to resent the very vulnerability I profess to enjoy here. Something about all the lurkers just really pissed me off. So I yanked the needle off the record player, shoved everyone out of my house, and shut the lights.

Well, lights are back on. Party is slowly starting back up. And all - truly, all - are welcome. I've been going through my old posts, trying to figure out from likers who I blocked, and then unblocking them. It's a massive, time-consuming pain in the ass and I deserve every second of it. But I don't know that I'll ever figure out everyone I axed, and if you're among those who I haven't unblocked, and you'd like to re-follow, please do drop me an email. The blocking spree was fast, furious, and indiscriminate; anyone I've missed is at this point an oversight, not an intentional exclusion.

So come chat me up, if you're so inclined! Or just watch. That's cool, too. Either way, door's open.