on restraint

I wish I was a person with better restraint. It's a quality I admire greatly.

Restraint is a kind of power. If you suffer from emotional dysregulation, your feelings run rampant all over you. It's incredibly difficult to mediate and process them, which leads to bad decision making. But people with restraint don't get themselves into messes, because they can stop themselves from saying the thing, or doing the thing (that causes the mess).

Restraint has lots of opposites: impulsivity, anger, insecurity, and chaos to name a few. The restrained person has sense enough to hold their tongue despite what they're thinking, because the fallout of conflict is never worth the cost of inner peace. And if you have inner peace, there is literally nothing else you need. Nothing you need to prove, no one you need to hurt. 

Restraint manifested in the physical world is beautiful. Minimalism and simplicity are the hallmarks of the single greatest strength we can flex: wanting less. The less you want, the less you are satisfied with, the more powerful you are. This is a fact of life that infuriates the unhappy rich (trust me, they are manifold).

I think, though I'm not sure, that restraint as a practiced choice leads to a natural need for less. A lessened need to have, take, own - a lessened need to be validated. That's what it kind of feels like, the older I get.