when all you can pad kee mao is blog about

Hello kids. Greetings from Estivation Nation, where the 90 degree weather has me shuttered inside for most of my weekend, save for essential errands like skulking off to Brazilian Wax Center (#summer #optimism) and Whole Foods for A2/A2 milk. 

I don't actually know what A2/A2 milk is, other than I need to reserve a portion of my paycheck for it every week, because it is fucking delicious. Whole Foods cruelly, mercilessly got me hooked on St. Benoit Jersey milk before ripping it away without warning when they discontinued it. I still check for it every time, and sigh dejectedly within earshot of any nearby employees in hopes they'll inquire as to the source of my distress. 

Most people cannot hang with the Jersey milk, or the A2/A2 milk, which is so thick and creamy there is usually a big glob of milk solids at the top of the bottle. Me, I love it. The creamier the better. Lay me down under the damn cow, I am not afraid of what will come out of that thing. (Let's get the positioning just right though; positioning is key.)

So anyway yes, the main events of my weekend were the awkward small talk between myself and my "wax specialist" (idk, I feel like we can call them aestheticians?) and the extra large blob of cream waiting for me in my fancy cow juice. 


It is LA's reopening day, which means no more social distancing, no more masks in most environments, and no more capacity restrictions. I rewarded myself for scheduling my mammy-gram with Starby's, and I was so excited to see the "masks optional for vaccinated persons" sign on the door. Only, then I went in and I was the only person not wearing one. And I know most of those people have to be good to go at this point, because California crushed the vaccination game. I felt a little bit like a pariah until the espresso hit my brain, and now I just want to bounce around the entire city looking at as many faces as I can, for those who are ready to show me them to me. 

Despite the reopening, I still don't have much going on yet. I've been checking all my favorite venues constantly, to see what show announcements are dropping. But as of right now, my first event "back" will be Eric Prydz, downtown, the third week of August. I'm definitely ready for something sooner, but I want my first time to be special. I'm not going to give it up to just anyone. And nothing has been tempting enough, yet, to topple Prydz. So I will wait, and watch. And drink my A2/A2 milk to get big and strong enough to dance for an entire 50 minute set without pause.


I've been doing my weird color-coded eating thing again. I don't think I actually ever blogged about this, because it is so bizarre. But something happened last summer, when the heat really kicked in, where all I wanted to eat was fruit and vegetables. And I was scrolling Pinterest for simple, light meals when I came across a photo of one of those color wheel fruit trays. Not a full rainbow, just like two or three colors. And it looked so incredibly appetizing that I immediately went to the store and copied it. And then I did it again, the next day - but this time I incorporated vegetables. And before I knew it, my weird ass was going to the grocery store daily to pick out my dinner in the produce section, based on whatever color jumped out at me. (Legumes and beans were allowed, too.) The idea was to choose two colors - say, purple and green - and then make a meal of them. Blackberries, eggplant, purple potatoes. Green beans, edamame, honey dew melon. Whatever. Just had to match. 

I know - these are not flavors that meld. Hence the weirdness. But I really connected to this practice, and for about two weeks, I would create these really beautiful meat-free meals that had small portions of five or six different things. I felt incredible eating this way, but of course it wouldn't last. Two weeks and I was back to craving tacos and pad kee mao. 

Fuck. Now I really want pad kee mao.