turns out vellum is cheaper than CBT

Every so often I have a really bad emotional crash, usually too late at night to text anyone. So I'm making a sort of toolkit. I already have a virtual one - links to various media that always soothe me. But I wanted to make a physical one. Being off my phone is always > than being on my phone, and the act of touching something tangible and engaging my senses is a good distraction.

I'm calling it a D.E.C.K. A Depressive Episode Comfort Kit. It's going to have at least three components, all along the lines of resetting my thinking in a more positive direction. And I wanted to share the first with you, since it exists because of you. 

I've been very online for a long time now. And while I turned off comments years ago, I have quite a collection of letters from readers who've reached out to say thanks or to express appreciation. At one point I was considering making the blog private, and I asked anyone who wanted an invitation to send me their address. A lot of these are from then. People didn't just shoot me a quick email. They took the time to let me know who they were, why they read, and what they got out of it. It was actually very overwhelming.

For years I have wanted to do something with them, print them up in their own little mini book or something. But now, this toolkit I'm putting together is the perfect repository for such encouragement and gratitude. 

When I'm having a bad episode, a big component is feelings of worthlessness. Reading reminders that the things I've written mean something to people - have helped them in some way, or even just entertained them - that is very strong antidote to feeling worthless. So I went through and clipped small snippets of these letters and printed them up on cards, so I could flip through them anytime I'm feeling low. 

Vellum, card stock, gorilla glue, and lots of kindness:

There are twenty-five of them, but I will content myself with these. Endless thanks to those of you who contributed to this. You are a reason I stay whole.