first snow

My building has a community terrace on the top floor, open to everyone at all times. Wifi, the whole bit. It has an enclosed section plus an outdoor area. Here's the view of -- and from -- it, yesterday, during the first snow:

It actually has another section with couches, but someone was sitting there and I didn't want to photograph them. 

My first snow day hit me about how I expected. I was giddy, then I was emotional. Then I was giddy again. Then emotional. Absolutely blissed out on the whole. Really, the two selfies I snapped in the park across the street say it all.

I've spent most of the past two days holed up just being cozy. Reading, doing words, cooking home fries, making soup. It's fucking glorious. When I was in LA, there was always a sort of hot wire of tension in my body, like a feeling I needed to be out and doing something. I don't know why I had so much trouble just chilling at home when I lived there. But here it's the best thing ever. I have hours and hours every evening that I know is my time -- really my time, and I feel so much more relaxed. 

But then when I do have errands to do, I love that too. I love just getting bundled up, being out in the fresh air, doing my little Whole Foods runs for fresh produce every other day. It's just a simple, peaceful routine that is, for lack of a better word, enough

That being said, I am working on my bucket lists of sights to see and things to do and learn here. I've got a pretty massive assignment list from Costa, and then my own personal one. A pilgrimage to White Castle, for one thing. A drive to my home town -- though I will probably wait until spring for that.

Too much unstructured time is bad for me, though, so I still do my dailies. It's a thing I implemented during the month I was unemployed. I call it my Daily. It's just a typed up to do list, very simple. Day of the week, then a numbered list encompassing every last thing I need to do, large or small. I include important habits, too, all the things that keep me on track and help me manage anxiety / depression. So "eat a healthy lunch" is on there, every single day. It helps galvanize the habit when I see it in writing, seven days a week. Then there are always a few small household tasks. Plus reading, working on words, and working out. All the things that have proven to be reliably powerful tools to keep me emotionally balanced. 

Something on today's Daily was "make a list of upcoming posts". So I've got about four or five in the mental barrel, mostly reflective pieces about this past year, and what I'm looking forward to in the year ahead. And I really need to get some creative juices flowing again. Haven't written much creative in far too long.

Just wanted to get these photos up of my first snow in about twelve years. I know my face says it all, but I'll say it anyway: I am really, really happy to be here.